I Am a Sum of Those Around Me

Note: This will be a short one.

I am a sum of those around me.

When I wash my dishes, I half-fill a container with hot water and proceed to squeeze an adequate amount of dish detergent in the water. I dip my sponge in the soap mix before I scrub.

I am a sum of my mom — not just genetically, but some of the traits I admire about her: fierceness, diligence, passion, empathy and love. My plethora of hobbies? They’re inspired by her incessant amount of gardening, cooking, wood burning, language classes — you name it. My increasing collection of cooking materials and finding peace in reconnecting with myself through cooking? Inspired by her wide collection of cooking tools (almost too wide). My confidence in being able to make it somewhere in life? Partially stems from seeing how far she’s gotten with how little she started off with.

My financial sense and above-par credit score? Inspired by my dad’s constant nagging of financial literacy and discussion of stock picks. It’s what has allowed our relationship to gradually become more and more like that of peers and respectful individuals rather than a hierarchy of parent and child.

My ability to schedule random gatherings with friends? Heavily inspired by my friend Sophie and partially by my friends Andrei and Frankie, who are excellent at both meeting new people and maintaining old friendships. Sophie always holds the most spontaneous hangouts throughout the week — from badminton, to paint nites and board game nights.

My sense of traction in recruiting for the job market? It stems from hope I’ve drawn from seeing my friends Andrei and Frankie make it so far in their careers while remaining authentic to themselves. Their knowledge of interviews, mocks, and resumes has helped me greatly.

My sense of peace from knowing that I am loved by those around me? It stems from my friends Frankie, Lisa, and Amy — as well as my dear cousin Julie — who are (mostly) always there for me. My other friends, such as Phuong Vy, James, and Andrei remind me that some friendships and connections go beyond geographic differences.

My sense of improvement in dance and drive to improve as a teacher? Inspired by my friend Jano, who’s super knowledgeable about not only the dance space, but also inspires me with his stories about personal growth, relationships, and fitness.

My sense of support in personal development? It’s always inspired by my conversations with my friend Frankie, whose questions and fellow reflective mind always amazes me. It’s pushed further and challenged (in a good way) later by my cousin Julie as well.

I am a sum of those around me — a unique blend of my experiences, those I am surrounded by, and those I choose to keep myself close to.

Relationships don’t grow on their own; it requires mutual work and both of you to acknowledge that you want to prioritize the other in some way. Some common values and a sense of drive in life — these are things that will keep you two together over time.

Sometimes, I can be thankful for those around me and acknowledge how blessed I am but still want better for myself; loving myself means being content with who I am in the now while wanting better for myself because I do indeed love and care about myself.

When you love someone, you want to see someone succeed whether it’s with or without you. Similarly, because I love myself, I can’t wait to see who I become as I take on new challenges and meet new people because things will shift as they are needed to.

Sometimes I will have to say goodbye to a version of myself that no longer exists, but that’s okay. It was a memory to be cherished in its own right, but now, I am changing for the better and into a more suitable person as to who I am now.