Three Months into Exchange
Today marks the three-month point into my exchange. While I wrote a one-month check-in post, I didn’t do one at the two-month mark because things were so hectic.
To be honest, the past three months have been a blur; I barely remember what I did at the beginning of the week, and I’m always hyper-focused on upcoming events. This detracts from the principles of mindfulness, and I’m often bogged down by mixed feelings of guilt and melancholy because I know that I should be more focused on the present.
Although there are still two months left in the exchange term, I am already plagued by anxiety and sadness when I think about the end of exchange (which I often do). Exchange seems to be such a unique point in life where you can meet others around the world, have 4 months to basically do whatever you want, and push yourself to try new things. When else am I going to have this time carved out for me? Yes, sabbaticals and work abroads exist, but studying abroad on a gap year just has a mystic feel to it.
Maybe I’m trying to romanticize life too much, but I always question if I’m doing my best in this special chapter of life. Should I meet new friends or prioritize the ones I already vibe with? Am I eating at the tastiest restaurants? What new experiences can I try? What skills can I learn here that I can’t learn in Canada?
However, I often failed to take into account exhaustion. I was so busy filling my schedules that I didn’t realize 6 hours of sleep wouldn’t be enough on some days. I felt guilty when any of my time was spent on things other than exploring, but that isn’t healthy. I should have allowed for more down time and breathing room for myself.
One of my friends had previously gone on exchange and mentioned a few months later that it all felt like a haze dream. I think about that a lot – what will I remember about this time when it’s all over? I suppose this is one of the factors that propagates into my almost-obsessive need for documentation. From the small things–such as the way the sunlight hits the kimchi plant pots– to the big things–like musicals–, I don’t want to forget the things that evoked emotion in me.
But despite these busy schedules and burdens I place on myself, I believe that everything worked out the way it should, such as doing a lot of workshops in March because I got really busy in April with midterms and dance practices.
Here’s what I’ve been up to in the last 2 months since the one-month check-in post:
Developed my first few rolls of film in Seoul → check out my “Work in Korea” photo series on @sammistravels !
Various traditional Korean crafts workshops (e.g. mother-of-lacquerware making, Korean paper, Korean enamel, etc.)
Trying a lot of new hobbies → pilates, paragliding, barista-ing, aerial hooping, ATVing, glass welding, dream catcher making,
Clubhouse meetups
Day trip to Pocheon w/ crazies (lov y’alls)
Trip to Pohang, filled w/ both spontaneity and planned activities! (turned out to be one of my fav cities in Korea; also met the BEST airbnb hosts here)
Further improvements in my conversational Korean skills
Discovering traditional Korean pubs (w/ the classic makgeolli + pajeon combo)
Finally receiving my ARC (basically an acknowledgement card to get citizen rights here) and bank account (soooo much more convenient with these two things)
Writing a letter to my future self at a cafe
Watching Korean musicals and ballet productions!
Dyeing my hair for the first time
Joined the debate club and did my first-ever debate tournament! → my team placed first in the pre-quarterfinals and I received the 4th top individual speaker award :)
Joined Yonsei’s street dance club and fully immersed myself around Koreans → I’ve never felt so introverted as I do when surrounded by Korean-only speakers, but I’m thankful for the opportunity to challenge myself in both dance and language skills
Discovering my all time favourite donkatsu place (truffle cheese tonkatsu near my house; so. freakin. good)
Visiting the art museum I always wanted to check out (Leeum)
Watching the Korea vs. Iran FIFA game!
Cherry blossom hunting all around the country → jeju, busan, jinhae, daegu, samcheok, gangneung → lots of car renting LOL
Attending Coffee Expo and receiving a lot of freebies!
Picnicing by the Han River
Princess dress-up + hanbok (traditional Korean wear) dress-up
Midterm stress
Exploring Ikseon-dong! (my fav part of Seoul bc of the narrow alleys, artsy/indie vibes, and hanok-style architecture)
Trip to Jeonju (which I’m currently on)
Random big reflection points:
International Food
I never truly realized nor appreciated how good Toronto’s international food is until I came here. Seoul’s Vietnamese and Thai food is quite mediocre. The only things you can rely on here to blow your mind are the Korean food and Italian food (namely, pasta). Even the Japanese food is quite mid sometimes.
Career
One of my biggest objectives in coming here was to determine if I wanted to work in Korea after graduation or not. Although it may come as a surprise to some, my gut feeling built up from the past 3 months tells me that my efforts would be best suited to a different job market. Korea’s education and career systems are still quite outdated; while it may seem that innovation is prominent, a heavy emphasis on grades and name-branded schools still exists. I also enjoy learning Korean but wouldn’t want to be forced to learn it for work. After exchange, I probably won’t come back to Korea for a long while.
Dazzled Visions
I came to Korea expecting to enjoy the cafes and sightseeing the most, but I discovered that they are pretty lackluster. Instead, what I have enjoyed the most are the conversations that I have had with locals – from bartenders, to airbnb hosts, and store owners. I realized that my life is quite centered around stories – I like telling stories, listening to others’ stories, and probing into the underlying motives of each person.
Cultural Assimilation
To be frankly honest, sometimes, I look back at photos of myself from the first month of exchange and can’t even recognize myself. I feel like my wardrobe has transformed to the degree that I might not wear any of it when I’m back in Toronto – here, I wear cutesy and feminine clothes, but back in Toronto, I wear streetwear and dance wear all the time. From time to time, I question if I’m still maintaining my individuality and making independent decisions.
Taoism and East Asian Philosophy
This class has been one of the most impactful ones on my personal philosophy, albeit being a bit painful to get through with recorded lectures and a mumbling professor. One of the principles of Taoism that has really stuck to me is that “doing everything is the same as nothing” and that “nothing is not emptiness but rather being full of potential.” This reminds me to not pack my schedule too much so that I have room for spontaneous meet-ups and activities as well.
Dance
Back in 2019 when I came to Asia for the first time, taking a waacking class in Japan was one of my favourite memories. For context, waacking is a dance style that is usually done much better in Asia than North America. Since then, I swore that I would be down to go to Osaka for a month simply to train in waacking at that studio. Flash forward to Korea and somehow, I have manifested this waacking training. During the first month, I took one waacking class at a studio, but now, since joining the street dance team, I train for 6 hours every week in waacking (for free too). Training with a Korean dance team as the only foreigner has exposed me to many things – not only are the moves more advanced than those in studios, but I have also familiarized myself with Korean dance terms such as “formations” and “diagonals.” I have been (and continue to be) able to challenge my waacking skills, such that I could probably incorporate a couple of moves in my freestyles when I head back to Canada. I’m really satisfied with this part of exchange because preparing for performances has always been one of the most memorable activities for me in Canada. I’m super excited to perform in public with my team in late May!
Dating
Yes, I started dating someone here. I met him through debate club, and he is a pretty awesome person. Dating him has made me realized how little I accepted in my previous relationships – not only is he enthusiastic about having deep conversations with me, but he also brings ideas and questions to the table. Furthermore, he not only shows me care in the way that he naturally expresses it (i.e. words of affection) but in the ways that I best receive it (i.e. actions). I’ve never felt so much reciprocation of attentiveness, in the way that he keeps the hair out of my face as I eat udon or the way that he remembers the things I’ve talked about in my blog posts and brings it up in conversation. I’m very thankful to have met him, as well as my other friends, during my time here.